The Great Alaskan Fritter Caper

Readers of this blog are well aware that one of my favorite peoples in all of #bikedc is Rachel “Don’t Call Me Bob” Cannon. First she was an anthropology grad student. As her frequent tweets clearly demonstrated that didn’t work out. (She really grew to hate spending hours reading academic bafflegab.) So she switched to Museum Studies. (If anybody wants to give her a massive grant for academic persistence, she’d happily accept, I am sure.)  In addition to these nerdly persuits, Rachel also does such things as giving bike and Seqway tours of DC, installing bike racks all over town, selling books at a terrific used book store, and interning as a snail classification expert at the Smithsonian. She also plays lute and bassoon in a Renaissance Emo band. (Actually, she does play an instrument but with all this activity I just can’t remember what it is.) And as if she wasn’t busy enough she also volunteered at cycling events around town. (She was rewarded for her good citizenship by being run over by a driver during last Decembers Cider Ride. She has recovered from her injuries.)

In addition to cycling and a warped sense of humor, Rachel and I have another thing in common: we both have a weakness for apple fritters. Apple fritters are pastries with a bazillion calories that people should never, ever eat.

BWA HA HA!

A co-worker at my old job called them Sugar Encrusted Pastry Bombs. That pretty much sums it up.

Rachel recently took an internship at the Hammer Museum in tiny and remote Haines Alaska. Yes, it’s a museum dedicated to hammers. She started a blog about it an, in one entry, was bemoaning the high cost of food. It seems there is a limited supply of everything except  salmon. (You can probably get a good deal on moose or caribou meat but you won’t see me asking for a bite.)  I’m not a big fan o’salmon but even if I was I imagine there is only so much salmon that you can eat in one summer.

So I got to thinking. Why not send her a fritter? The fritters we both like are sold at M. E. Swing’s coffee house, home of Friday Coffee Club. Unfortunately, I got this idea at 11 a.m. on Friday, long after Swing’s had probably run out. I did a web search for bakeries near my office in Rosslyn, Virginia. I found one about a half mile away.

Over lunch I hoofed it up the hill and found BeanGood. And sure enough they had fritters. Big ass fritters. Nearly the size of a Frisbee.  Frisbee Fritters!!! These babies could send even the most hardened fritterholic into insulin shock. I bought two.

I wrapped them in a plastic bag, put them in a Priority Mail flat rate box cushioned within by some wadded up newspaper and mailed the box to the museum.

It was Memorial Day weekend. It was going to Alaska. I figured it would et there sometime in late June.

It got there (available for pick up at 10:45 a.m.) in two business days. Dang!

A day later Rachel got the box.

I’d have paid good money to see her expression when she opened it.

This will have to do.

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(I hope she doesn’t mind that I clipped this picture from her Twitter account.)

Best of all, they are edible! Woot!

Enjoy the feast, Rachel. I know I speak for a whole bunch of people back here in DC when I say “We miss you.”

 

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