My to-do list for the winter is quite long, and none of it involves bicycles. Last week I knocked off some plumbing issues in my house. As is usually the case I used my best plumbing tool, my credit card. Suffice it to say that I am just about as competent around the house as I am working on my bike.
I also went to the dermatologist to get a thingie on my right middle finger looked at. The thingie turned out to be a cyst. The dermatologist referred me to a surgeon to have it removed. It’s annoying and painful and keeps me from riding up hills like Claudia Chiappucci. (Okay, I made the climbing thing up.) I go to the surgeon this Friday so I will miss Friday Coffee Club. Yes, I know, my priorities are all screwed up.
Some time ago, Mrs. Rootchopper found an unusual looking spot on my back. I asked the dermatologist to do a skin screening. The spot on my back was nothing to be concerned about. The rest of me was a whole other story.
Being that I am mostly of Irish lineage, my skin burns pretty much during all daylight hours. It’s a bit like being a reverse vampire. The doctor found beaucoup spots with skin damage that had to be frozen off. She also had me apply a caustic gel like substance to the perimeter of my face. After three days of application, my face looks rather ironically like I have a bad sunburn.
On a whim, I told the doctor about an annoying bump above and behind my left ear. To my shock, she biopsied it. I should find out tomorrow if it is anything to worry about. “I’m afraid your head will have to be removed.”
All of which is to say, that today I moved to the next item on the list, electrical issues with my house. I had three items to fix: the front porch light, a light switch in the basement and an electrical outlet in the basement. Of course, I hired an electrician.
The light switch was a five minute fix. The front porch light took 15 minutes. The socket took two hours. It was wired backwards creating something called reverse polarity. Basically if you touched it with a metal object you’re likely to get zapped. The electrician checked all the other outlets and light switches in the basement and nearly all of them to be wired improperly. I am not surprised since it was DIY electrical work by the previous owner.
While using his tester to check an outlet upstairs, I bent over and I got a zap of a different sort. My back caught. This has been happening to me since I was in college so I wasn’t entirely surprised. Maybe my back has reverse polarity. It’s frustrating but in ten days or so I will be good to go.
My primary method of treatment is to ride Big Nellie gently. I really don’t know why it works but it shortens the recovery time by a couple of days. So I probably won’t be bike commuting for a while. As they say in professional sports, my bike commuting status is day to day. All of which is to say, I am grounded.